1 February 2008
It (Really) Starts.
I write this as I lay in bed at my grandparents’ house, about an hour and a half west of Washington, D.C. Tomorrow morning I will take the train to New York City, thus beginning my odyssey in the big city. A couple entries ago I wrote some nonsense about how I was about to move and, strictly speaking, that was true. But really, it wasn’t, as I really traveled to Seattle, Hawaii, and Houston to visit various people and partake in various activities (they call this “taking a vacation”). Now, however, it is true: I really am moving. Like, hours from now. And I have to admit, I’m pretty excited.
I’m also pretty scared, but let’s focus on the excitement. Let’s also talk about some of the things I have already learned.
First, don’t make assumptions. I have already made dubious assumptions about banks and health care companies; namely, that they will be easy to deal with. They won’t be. And the Bank of Oklahoma especially won’t be, because they believe in telling you things that are not objectively true. So don’t trust those bastards and definitely don’t put your money in their bank. As for the health care companies, well, I already knew they were screwy. I just got to experience first hand! Ugh.
Second, I’m in this alone. That sounds kind of depressing. And it kind of is. But it’s also liberating. Sad to say, but this is the first time in my life where I’ve really been in charge of everything. I guess the proper word for that is responsibility. Up until now, I’ve been living in the shadows of and under the protection of my family. Finances weren’t an issue, and I lived a pretty safe and stable life. But safety and stability that aren’t provided by one’s own self is cheap; you have to do it yourself. Safety and stability are also pretty creatively stifling, as I have learned over the last few months.
Third, and probably the most important, is that faith is going to be really important from here on in. I don’t mean faith in God, although it would certainly be nice to reacquire that some day, but rather faith in the idea that things are going to work out. Take my living arrangements. I don’t really have any. I did set up an appointment tomorrow afternoon for a sublet, and if I like it I’m moving right in, but I must admit that I’m flying blind. And I mean that in every sense, just look at the situation: I’ll be moving into a neighborhood that I’m completely unfamiliar with and I’ll be living with people that are total strangers. On top of all that, I have a job whose wage is insultingly low, and I only have a few “contacts” upon which to rely for help. And yet, I’m not too worried about it. Because, underneath all my stress and worry, I trust in, well, something that it will all work out. You can call it God or providence or fate or whatever, but I have to believe that it will work out. Otherwise, the city will swallow me up. And I’m not going to let that happen.
February 2, 2008. Not exactly a day of consequence, right? Just any other Saturday. Except for me, it is the beginning of the next major stage of my life.
Check back here for more bloggy bullshit about the City, if you’re so inclined. I’m going to be documenting my stay and experiences here as best I can.
hyalineskies
It’s not just any Saturday…it’s Groundhog Day!