17 January 2008
I Lost My Notebook
Sometimes being a writer sucks. Well, it's been sucking for me all the time, lately, but that's another story for another day… it's sucking for a specific reason right now… I lost my notebook.
I've been able to eke out about ten to fifteen pages of material over the last couple weeks, so it only makes sense that I would lose it. This notebook functions as both a journal and a repository for all my play ideas. It had a couple of short stories that I had written as well as a few notes on different projects that I had hoped to work on in the future. And now I can't find it. I've been to the lost and found, to every place between my room and where I was sitting last night, I even went out to my rental car (even though I knew it couldn't be out there), and I can't find it. I have torn my room apart and… nothing.
I can't describe to you how stressful this is. It's like getting my arm chopped off. These are my personal thoughts that some random person could be reading. Even worse, someone could take it and pass it off as their own writing, which truly makes me angry and sad. I had an idea for a fucking TV show in there! And other really personal thoughts that I don't want to share with anyone! That's really the part that makes me so frustrated… some random person could have this in their possession. It's worse the voyeurism. I'd feel better if I knew it was in the trash somewhere… but I don't know that for sure. At this point, that's probably the best I can hope for.
Anyway. This is kind of ruining my vacation, which is sad because it is not cheap.
Shit.
UPDATE: Yeah, I found it. Turns out I didn't tear the room apart enough. I feel like I'm seven years old right now. At any rate… just goes to show the power of belief: I truly believed the thing was lost and that someone else was reading it, and it felt terrible. That's three hours I won't soon forget.
hyalineskies