4 December 2007
Music Musing: Financially Screwed By a Music Video
Go here. Watch this. They say the fuck word, by the way, so if your ears are sensitive, then I suggest you don’t watch this. But if you don’t, the rest of this won’t make sense. Also, if you’re surprised by the fuck word being involved with something that I write about, then you just don’t know me that well.
Oh fuck… the link… because without it… well, I don't know, I'm just trying to fill this white space with words because of formatting issues (go honesty!).
Here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=lPYZgwbqJ2Q (I like putting the actual link, to hell with aesthetics!).
All right. I think that video is actually pretty cool. Because I only turn my brain on for a few hours each day, I just now realized (after seeing it for the fourth or fifth time) that the conceit of the video is that of a film preview. In my own defense, I also just now found this youtube post of the video that had the green band preview card at the beginning of it.
Anyway. A well shot video. Jeremy Sisto shows up. And also random hot chicks at the end for no real reason. But who complains about random hot chicks at the end for no real reason? If you do, you’re gay or a woman. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se. More seriously, Adam Levine is actually a damn good front man for a band. His performances exude a coolness, and that coolness makes “Wake Up Call” as a video, and therefore as a song, pretty cool. Not that I really listen to Maroon 5 all that much. As my friend Matt would say, I liked them before they were popular. Oh Matt. Then why do you like Dave Matthews Band so much? He’d probably say that he likes the earlier stuff, and also hey man, I’m not really listening to them right now, I’m into hip hop now. Then I’d say, dude, I am too. I have the bracelet to prove it. I fucking heart hip hop, man, although the word fucking isn’t on the bracelet, I added that for emphasis. Then he’d leave to practice hitting things with sticks (he’s a drummer, yo) and the conversation would abruptly end. Okay. That’s not really true, we’d probably talk about music for a half hour and then watch Arrested Development on DVD. But none of this has anything to do with the music video you just watched, and also I don’t live with Matt anymore and haven’t for two years or something. As the vocabulary books would tell you, Matt is not germane to this particular conversation. You’re not germane Matt, so get the hell out.
As I was saying, the video for “Wake Up Call” is cool. And that’s not just my opinion, it’s a fact, Jack. It makes the song seem cool as well. Unfortunately for my bottom line, I decided to take a cue from my high school self and buy the entire Maroon 5 album based merely on this song. I also bought a whole bunch of other shit (I was Christmas shopping), but I only really enjoy buying things for other people if I also buy things for myself at the same time. In fact, percentage wise, I spent more on myself than I did on anyone else. I don’t feel bad about this, though. I fucking worked for that money, why should I spend it on other people? So, I spent one hundred twenty bucks, and I spent thirty bucks on myself, does that make me Hitler? Fuck you people. Or do I mean “fuck, you people”? I don’t really know. Really, though, I still spent ninety bucks on other people. And I’m poor. On Christmas morning I could’ve said, you know what people, I make a dollar more than minimum wage… and you expect gifts?! Someone here, and it’s not me, needs to readjust expectations. Hint: you. You need to readjust your expectations. Like when the President says “we’re going to hunt him down,” at first I thought he meant exactly that, but now I’ve readjusted my expectations, because it turns out the President hasn’t met a lie he didn’t want to have sex with. I’m not sure that makes sense.
Anyway, the point of all of this is sometimes music videos make songs seem cooler than they are and that you need to beware of this otherwise you’ll spend your money on an album not worth buying. Downloading illegally, perhaps, but not really buying. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that when I listened to the song in my car as I was driving home, I felt like an idiot because, while it is a decent song, it wasn’t as cool as I remembered when I first heard it/saw it in the music video. Then I realized that I’m a fucking sucker and that music videos are just four minute advertisements that cost 150 grand to produce. The point is more salient now that you know the background.
P.S. - You know what song has a cool video and is also cool all by its damn self? Paralyzer by Finger Eleven. I don’t even know what’s going on with that video, man, those crazy dancers in suits from Reservoir Dogs. Also, that lyric “if your body matches what your eyes can do / you’ll probably move right through me on my way to you” is just plain cool. It’s also kind of nonsensical if you think about it, so don’t think about it. In fact, don’t think about anything at all. Go watch some TV or something. Another cool song with a cool video? Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. Except for that warning about violence at the end of the video. Because violence can solve everything. Say you have a disagreement with your friend about what movie is better, Fight Club or Bringing Down The House. Your friend says Steve Martin trumps anything. You say what about Fight Club? Your friend says Steve Martin pisses in Fight Club’s mouth. So then you kill your friend. Problem solved.
Until your friend’s kid shows up for revenge. But that’ll be like twenty years from now. And those twenty years will be good years, oh yes, they’ll be good years.
hyalineskies