Screwtape Chronicles

15 October 2007

Book Review: Save Me From Myself

Save Me From Myself, a memoir written by former Korn co-lead guitarist Brian “Head” Welch, is an interesting and fairly well told story of drug addiction and religious salvation.  If you didn’t already know, Welch quit Korn in 2005 after a religious awakening in which he felt led to completely give up drugs, end his career in Korn, and dedicate his life to Christ.  In Save Me From Myself, Welch essentially explains how all this happened by talking about his early childhood, how Korn formed, what is what like for him to be in the band, his relationships with his fellow band members and his now ex-wife, his daughter, his drug addictions, and how all of that finally lead him to quit the band and dedicate his life to Christianity. 

Welch splits the book into two parts: pre- and post-conversion.  His style of prose is easy to scan and is very straightforward.  At one point, Welch admits to having never written anything before; if that is indeed true, then he acquits himself very nicely.  When he gets to the Christian portion of the book, he does a good job of explaining Christian terminology to an assumed non-Christian audience (for example, he explains what “washed in the blood” means which, now that I think about it, would be baffling to me if I wasn’t raised in the church).  The book is both earnest and laidback.  Welch wants you to know his story, but he doesn’t want to drown you in it. 

As someone who isn’t Christian and who isn’t going to be converting anytime soon, I must admit I was more interested in Welch’s pre-conversion life.  It was fascinating to read about how Korn came together, as the life of a rock star is generally more interesting from than outside than the life of a Christian.  In fact, I wish this part of the book was more detailed.  Welch does talk about Korn’s creative process (“Shoots and Ladders” was apparently written while Welch and Jonathon Davis were flying on meth), but not to any great extent.  Consequently, I still don’t really know how, while Welch and the rest of the band were strung out on various drugs, they ever managed to get any work done.  It’s kind of incredible to note how good some of Korn’s music is, knowing now that most of the band had severe drug problems during the creative process. 

The Christian portion of the book was a little less interesting to me, inasmuch as Welch is pretty much trying to convert people with it and I have no interest in conversion.  As someone who was raised Christian, I recognized a lot of things Welch talked about, having seen them personified in various people I knew as I grew up.  In this sense, the section of the book felt familiar to me.  However, Welch’s experiences go far beyond things I’ve normally heard about.  He talks about feeling both the presence of God and Satan in a physical sense, as well as developing the ability to speak in tongues (apparently this can be a form of personal prayer with God, a kind of special language that only you can access). 

It was hard for me not to connect his massive drug abuse to these physical manifestations of God.  And even if drugs have nothing to do with them, they are still very difficult to understand.  Since Welch was in an admittedly horrible place in his life, I feel like it may have been possible for him to misinterpret what was happening.  For example, around the time of his conversation, someone told Welch about a specific Bible verse.  After he became aware of the verse, Welch tells us that he saw that verse everywhere for the next two weeks.  He took this as a sign from God, even though another explanation would be to say that he only saw it everywhere because he was looking for it, whereas previously he was not.  As a nonbeliever, I can’t totally discount Welch’s experiences, but since they are so personal and inherently impossible to reproduce, it’s hard to take them as Welch presents them as well. 

Ultimately, though, I guess I don’t really care if Welch found God or not.  I mean, obviously, he thinks he did, so, to him, he did.  But what really matters here is that before he found God he was a drug addict, a bad father, and unhappy.  After he found God, he was no longer a drug addict, a good father, and happy.  And there’s nothing wrong at all with that. 

Should you buy this book?  I don’t know.  I didn’t.  I read it at work during my breaks, so it was free to me.  If you’re really interested in theological topics, and especially conversion stories, then yeah, I’d pick it up.  If not, then I’d probably skip it (26 bucks!).  Wait for the paperback or go to the library. 

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